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Checkmate Liberal: In Carney Canada, Why Can I Still Not Get an Erection?
Well, well, well. Time and time again you Liberals just won’t learn. With Tru-DORK gone, you thought your new liberal agenda would fix...
Jonah Wineberg
Mar 20

BREAKING: Girl Drinks Guinness
EXTRA, EXTRA! An early twenties female was spotted red handed drinking a BEER this weekend, and not just any beer, but a Guinness. This...
Clare Mooney
Mar 17

UofT’s Ginger Run Rescheduled Due to Sunny Skies, Perfect Weather
Usually when someone is running in front of the Madison Avenue Pub, it’s to catch a late night Uber, to get away from a former lover, or...
Noah Cazabon
Mar 14

Run, Don't Walk to Yorkville's Hottest New Spot
We all know it’s a real bummer when your favourite underground spot goes mainstream. Suddenly, there’s all these loser normies messing...
Alessia Pattara
Mar 10


St Mike's Cremates Lowest Achiever For Ash Wednesday
As we move toward lent, many of our Christian students get ready to observe Ash Wednesday. I never went to Sunday school, so I have no...
Emmett Zych
Mar 5


Hinge Date Insists He Has Latex Allergy
The University of Toronto is infamous for its heavy workload, and many single students are dreaming of being fucked by something other...
Artemis Fedorchuk
Mar 5
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