Loser Dweeb From High School Now “Super Cool Party Animal” After Year of UofT Engineering
Toronto ON: The kid from your high school who studied 70 hours per week, religiously sported math pun t-shirts, and brought a robot to...
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Boundary Staff
Mar 26, 2018
Victoria College Subsidizes Inflated Egos of Six Unfunny Degenerates
Toronto, ON: A contingent of overconfident, odd-looking reprobates received a stimulus package that will allow their business to power...
Boundary Staff
Mar 25, 2018
Butt Dial to Campus Police, Passive-Aggressive Voicemail Reveals Group Has Been on Strike Since 2014
Toronto, ON: Area student Tim Blake unintentionally rang Campus Police on Sunday morning, setting off a verbal firestorm from his iPhone...
Boundary Staff
Mar 24, 2018
Philosophy Department Announces 'Co-Op' Partnership With Aroma Espresso Bar
Toronto, ON: After putting down his complimentary latte and wiping his chocolate-stained hands on a nearby intern, philosophy department...
Boundary Staff
Mar 20, 2018
Unrelenting Pretentious Chatter Leads Gertler to Attach Sound-Cancelling Masks to Every Last Philoso
King’s College Circle: President Meric Gertler promised to personally attach crude, sound-cancelling masks to “every [expletive] last...
Boundary Staff
Mar 19, 2018
Tequila Jack’s Bouncer Stunned by Striking Resemblance Between Patron’s Face and Government Identifi
Toronto, ON: Reports from The Boundary's secondary school correspondent assert that last Saturday, area youth Clint Hiber was admitted...
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