For as long as universities have existed, roommates have fallen to the classic blunder of becoming intimate with each other early on and facing a year’s worth of discomfort. Of course, we’re talking about roommates forming a grotesque human centipede at the beginning of the semester. The members of Rowell Jackman’s room 429 took this hasty step and are now facing the consequences of a post-human centipede dorm atmosphere.
“It seemed like an innocent idea at the time,” said Aubrey, the former head of the centipede. “But now it just feels a little weird running into someone in the kitchen who had their mouth sewn to my butt, especially when they ask for a bite of my food.”
While the shared arthropodic history is a source of discomfort for some, it is a source of heartbreak for others. “We had something good going,” declared Blake, the centre of the centipede. “I really felt like I was in the middle of something special.” Max reportedly still offers up the idea of “a sneaky link," repeatedly stressing that The Boundary to specify that he is referring to a sneaky link of mouths sewn to buttholes.
“Yeah Max is a freak,” said Casey, the tail of the centipede. “They were into the whole thing a little too much. Get over it! I’ve moved on to better and longer centipede chains, and so should Blake.” Hopefully, this experience will act as a lesson to future roommates to avoid a shortsighted venture such as this and simply have sex with each other
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