Okay, I know, I definitely overstepped. I thought I had won the jackpot for any history major four weeks behind on the required readings. My TA, a total hottie, was totally down to sleep with me after a fruitful conversation during our office hours appointment. He said my “performance would improve” if I let him hit. I thought he meant on the exam I had done no studying for, and that my youthful charms had vexed the 28-year-old PHD candidate and salvaged my already tanking GPA. I was left sore… and sorely disappointed. I totally bombed the exam, and have kissed my semester abroad goodbye, along with the next eighteen years of my life, as I unfortunately scored a 98-99% accurate result on my positive pregnancy test.
To break the news, I stormed into his office hours appointment to loudly declare that I was late. Very late. My cycle was late. He told me that “if I was talking about my essay on the impacts of the Reformation on rural Prussians in 1525, then yeah, really late. The penalty is 5% a day, including weekends.” He then said I should consider credit/no credit-ing the course to “terminate the enormous burden” my final mark would impose on my transcript.
When I informed him that I was referencing my period and that I was, in fact, pregnant with his child, he shrugged, asking “what that had to do with” the 56% he gave me for the midterm. I explained that he told me my performance would improve if I fucked him, and he explained that he meant he’d be helping me get better at degrading myself in bed with someone much older than me and in a position of authority.
Needless to say, he will regret his immunity to my attempted seduction when I sue his ass for all of his research grant money in paternity court.
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