It’s spring in Toronto, bringing warmer weather, brighter sun, and longer days. The Boundary had a chance to interview local small talk enthusiast Hadley Milankovitch, who is even more enthusiastic about this yearly phenomenon than most.
“I have had conversations about the changing seasons with hundreds of people, and each one had something generic to say. Via this method, I’ve been able to avoid exchanging any meaningful information at all. I don’t even know their names!”
“It’s so hard to know how to talk to people: do you ask them how their day is going? Ask them to list their family members? Make a highly specific negative comment about their appearance? The standard advice is to bring up a common interest”, explained Milankovitch, “And everyone shares a mild, vague, superficial interest in the temperature outside at this exact moment! You can start a conversation with anyone by saying ‘Boy, it sure is getting warmer out there, huh?’ , and the best part is, you don’t have to reveal any information about yourself!”
The Boundary’s correspondant was able to confirm that anything is better than listening to people complain about their exams.
The resident small talk enthusiast stipulated that you should avoid discussions of climate, weather patterns over time, or extreme weather events, as that could lead to talking about climate change, a subject about which people have emotions.
“This time of year is a goldmine for unusual yet mundane anecdotes. Last week, it was so warm out that there were like a hundred people on the King’s College Circle grass! I got a lot of mileage out of that one.”
At press time, it had started snowing again for some reason.
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