The Gertler Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans

We at The Boundary dedicate ourselves to uncovering local news at all costs, but on occasion we are blessed with easy access to an insider source. However, this is unlike any tip we have received before. The Gertler administration, in its final days, has informed me of their battle plans via a group message. The Whatsapp account I created for all of these group projects indicated that I was added into this strange and mysterious group chat yesterday morning by this “MG” individual. The messages sent in the chat included the coordinates and descriptions of several buildings in a cluster near the border of Vaughan, along with reimbursement forms for Uber rides, supplies, and a rented helicopter. There was a message that read “We will prove York can’t hold a fork” and it hit me - MG was Meric Gertler and his administration was planning to invade York University! I did not believe that this could be real, yet a further discussion of payload yields, average GPAs, and a plan to terminate TA resistance made me believe this was real. At press time, my fears were confirmed that this was real as President Gertler announced that an attack was launched at the institution, severely damaging the “campus.”