It’s everyone’s favourite time of the year! No, not midterms….the American election! It’s the season for every annoying American to have their voice heard, particularly those who live outside of the country.
One voter from abroad, Danny Daniels, has had a lot to say this year, despite us not requesting that he comment:
“As a commerce student, I’ve been thinking mostly about the state of the American economy, and for this reason, have decided to put my support into the Trump administration.”
Contrary to popular belief, based on how often he brings up the immigration crisis, Daniels has actually lived in the GTA for nearly his entire life.
When not asked to comment on why he is so passionate about the political makeup of a country he does not live in, he commented;
“I have a lot of American family. I know what’s best for them. Plus I lived in Minnesota until I was three, so I know a thing or two.”
This article was supposed to be an expose on the Northrop Frye McDonalds, but Daniels continued to discuss American affairs, and his own, against our interviewer’s will.
“JD Vance did not have sex with a couch, and I want to make sure that your readers know that. There’s a lot of misconceptions. I also never slept with that first year. Make sure they know that too. She is a liar, like that crooked Hillary. These women make things up.”
Anyway, vote early, vote often, and vote Jimmy Carter!
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