As any student at UofT knows, the entire campus has been a designated no-smoking zone since the 2019 governing council chose to be a massive buzzkill. That being said, it’s equally as known that not a single person has ever cared nor has a single staff member ever enforced this policy. The current governing body has sought to solve this detriment to the well-being of students this semester with a brand new action plan.
“The safety of our students is our top priority,” said Governing Council Chancellor Marlie Bridges as she tried to hold in a laugh. “But seriously, they need to respect our rules.” Bridges brainchild, the “For Realsies” campaign, creates a squadron of “Fun Police” on campus that will crack down on all forms of smokers on campus.
“Well, our new staff members who will enforce the rule have a brand new tactic,” Bridges explained when discussing her plan. “They aren’t going to stop at asking students to stop smoking. They now will strongly suggest they stop.” When asked what constituted “strongly suggesting”, Bridges paused before saying she needed to run to a meeting.
“Like really, there's no reason anyone should be lighting a cigarette at a Canadian university. Save it for the French,” Bridges asserted. Personally, I feel the campaign might do some good. Its always great to know the school really cares about finding new ways to spend copious amounts of money on a power trip. Besides, now I can find out how many stress-darts I can really smoke outside Robarts!
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